Sonya's Nervous Breakdown

INT. CREATIVE AGENCY

Sonya is 48 and going through a midlife crisis. She works at AXWELL WELL, the only creative agency in Lincoln, Nebraska. Sonya has abandoned all professional/social etiquette and is resigned to fucking up her life.

ACCOUNT MANAGER

I just want to manage your expectations.

SONYA

That’s exactly what my ex Jim said to me. I still recall the day. He was wearing a blue suede jacket.

ACCOUNT MANAGER

No. Wait, what? I just want to manage your expectations about receiving the deliverables on 4/30.

SONYA

Oh, ok. Thank you for managing my expectations. Someone needs to.

ACCOUNT MANAGER

Yes, that is what I’m here to do. Manage your expectations. So, how’s your bandwidth looking?

SONYA

Well, right about now I fluctuate between a 32 and a 34, but who knows. By the end of the day, I could be a 36. Did you hear its Indian Buffet Day in the mess hall?

ACCOUNT MANAGER

You mean the commissary? Sonya, is there something you need to get off your chest?

SONYA

No, unfortunately these two are completely attached. I didn’t ask for them.

ACCOUNT MANAGER

Now if we could just back up a minute, I need to know if the SEAMS project is accounted for in your scope?

SONYA

Man, do they still make Scope? I swear I only see Listerine these days at CVS. It’s like they forgot about Scope.

ACCOUNT MANAGER

Scope is a client here at AXWELL WELL!

SONYA

WELL, WELLLLLL, WELLLLLL, WELLLLL

ACCOUNT MANAGER

(Turns on emergency button)

SHE’S WELLING! SONYA IS WELLING! CALL THE WELL MEDICS!

Sonya’s mechanical configuration has gone awry. WELLING is code for: machine failure.

Sonya’s words trail off. She spins and bursts into translucent pieces that disintegrate into the carpet.

ACCOUNT MANAGER

(In an automated tone)

MUST FOCUS ON SCOPE’S NEW MARKETING STRATEGY.

THE END