Party Talk

MAXWELL

Oh, hi! Good to see you, how’ve you been?

LAURA

Let’s skip the pleasantries.

MAXWELL

(Confused)

LAURA

You unfollowed me. Subtext reads: we are no longer friends.

MAXWELL

So when I followed you, did that make us friends?

LAURA

All you do is post pictures of your kid eating cashews out of a plastic cup and I still follow you.

MAXWELL

Does it really matter that it’s out of a plastic cup?

LAURA

How do you know that Marcus wants to be seen eating sliced oranges in his underwear with juice running down his face? One day he will pissed.

SAMANTHA ENTERS.

SAMANTHA

Who has juice running down his face?

LAURA

Maxwell’s son. Constantly.

MAXWELL

Laura is accusing me of pimping out Marcus because she’s a dramatic narcissist who doesn’t understand the tacit rules of social media.

SAMANTHA

Wait, you confronted him about an unfollow? Bold, Laura.

LAURA

Why not! He’s an environmentally challenged son-pimper! Like ExxonMobil meets Joe Jackson.

MAXWELL

(about Laura)

Is she having a mental breakdown?

SAMANTHA

It’s safe to say her therapist knows about you.

LAURA

Only by handle, don’t flatter yourself.

THE END.